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SWO Guns |
Just what is StreetArms?Awright boyos and chicas out their lissen up! Me and the crew (whom you don't know and they would like to keep it that way) have gotten together and put together a new "service" for all youse out their that are fighting the neverending battle against the corp world. We, meaning me and a bunch of "investors", have devised a way to provide all of you out there a line of weapons and equipment that will help you keep the world of the corporate goon on their toes. How are we doing this? Well me and the aforementioned chums have created what we like to call StreetArms INC. (It's not really a corporation but we thought the little Inc. sounded wiz). Basically, it all started when we bought out a bunch of well connected fixers and we started supplying some of the runners in the Denver area with the gear that the fixers stockpiled. After a while, we started to make some nuyen and we decided that it would be a great idea if we started producing some of those wizzer little toys that some of those runners were using. Pretty soon, we had hired on some novahot techs and weaponsmiths and we started producing our own line of gear and weapons. It all started very small and we only provided goods to a very select group of proffessionals. Soon we found that more and more runners in the FRFZ were hearing about us and we started to hear from more runners wanting to test out our gear. After making a rather large profit from this new interest, we reinvested the cash and enlarged our facilities in order to expand our electronics and gunsmithing capabilities. With this new production capability, we enlarged our market and began pullin in some mondo cred. Soon, to our dismay, security became a problem. Ya see, the other hifalutin fixers of Denver didn't like us hornin in on thier biz so they came a-lookin for us. This was where our previous careers helped us out. First off, because of our contacts in the area, we knew they was comin', so we shut down for a short period of time to become more difficult to track. Then we contacted the fixers that were after us and gave them an offer they couldn't refuse. No, we didn't ice 'em, we simply offered to sell them gear that we had built at really good prices which allowed them to make as much profit off of our gear than they were losin by fighting us. Now don't get me wrong, we don't run all the fixers in the FRFZ by any means, and we were forced to take some unpleasant measures to get the shadow traders off our backs but we managed to get a slice of the Denver black market pie. Of course, our quick rise to power and profit attracted some heavy corp and mob attention so we were forced to take a second and more drastic security step. One of the benefits of having shadowy investors is that they have invaluable contacts. One of these people had two particularly good contacts. The first was one of the chums that runs the infamous Hacker House online decker program heaven. This slag got us hooked up with their extensive "marketing department" and began spreading the word that we were around. The second contanct was a genius out of the Denver DataHaven. This guy set it up so that we could take advantage of the collossal security of the data haven and still have our catalog on the shadowboards worldwide. To date, we have had no successful intrusions into our database and we continue to update our security measures in order to keep up with the SOTA. By the way, why did the shadows at the data haven help us out? Well, part of the reason was because we offered them a great percentage, but I think the real reason was that they knew that the corps, and the government would be really slotted off by this whole idea and they loved the idea of keepin' it that way. So anyway, that's the basic history, but I know you didn't get on this board to read a history lesson. "Fraggit, I want guns!!" is what you're sayin right now. Well I'll bring you some of that straight up but first I gotta tell ya the ground rules. The format for our catalog is just like any online store except that you don't pay online. Payment is COD only. Ya see we need a little time to do a check to make sure ya aint some corp stooge that just wants ta bust our hoops. So heres how it works. First ya order from the catalog. Next, our bad-as-you've-ever-seen deckers make sure you're legit (or illegit in this case). If you are, ya get contacted by one of our people ta set up a dropoff meet. Finally the dropoff occurs and ya get your drek. Two words of warning! Don't mess with our people. Our prices are fair enough and we really hate to lose customers. For all you hardedges out there, yah you may be tough and geek our dropoff team (but I doubt it), but remember we got Denver datahaven deckers on the payroll. Good luck in your next life. Second, if ya make an order, at least be remotely available. Our guys will find you under most circumstances, but don't make an order and then jander off to Australia (don't laugh, it's happened). OK, so without further drek, I bring you the 2058 edition of the StreetArms INC. catalog. Happy shopping. |
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